Am I going off the deep-end again, or does even the word, “Purpose” have its own dark side? To relay the train of thought here would require 4 more cups of coffee, tylenol and perhaps a revolver, but it is kind of interesting if I am even taking this apart correctly …
#1. Started with a dream I had last night that I was abruptly woken up out of with one singular loud/firm knock on the wall at 1am. The dream had to do with fulfilling my purpose by sharing my story in ways I am not (at this time) comfortable with but will inevitably be doing somewhere down the line.
#2. Then I was reminded that most of my darkest days were filled with an overwhelming lack of purpose and frustration with not knowing the best route to accomplish this or fulfill it. It had little to do with brain chemistry and more so to do with circumstances, trauma and the like … and a very strong pull into a completely new direction from which I was used to. The more I dug and dissected, the simpler “I” became and the smoother the journey became.
#3. Anyway, was just about to text a friend that is feeling low and seems to be in a deep rut. I was about to send encouraging notes that reminded them of their purpose and that they were more than capable of fulfilling this and going way beyond even that.
#4. Suddenly had this desire to look up the origin of the word, “Purpose” before texting her. I used to absolutely love my 9th grade English class where we broke down words into prefixes and suffixes. Always loved words and breaking them down gave each one more life and substance.
#5. Purpose originally comes from the combination of two words in their original state – “Pauein” and “Pro”. Both having completely opposite meanings. Pauein meaning to stop or to cease entirely. Denoting a total lack of energy. Halt. Pro meaning forth which suggests energy and forward progress.
#6. Interesting that combined, they later form the word Purpose, suggesting yet again (in my mind anyway) that both dark and light create the whole – usually either or driving the other at any given time … even in the most minute, microscopic details in all of life. The beauty lies in the combination, not separation. The beauty is, what I believe to be one of the main purposes in life, the integration of both sides – the alchemy of transmuting darkness into light. Now that’s the basis for my response to said friend.
Well, if that ain’t a morning wake up call, I don’t what is. Where’s my tylenol? JK – this is what I love to do (rip everything apart to its core simply out of curiosity). Never ceases to amaze me.

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